120grams to go till birth weight is hit 470 grams till 1.8 kilo and he can go into a cot 39 days (5weeks and 4 days) till he is able to learn to feed. 60 days (8 weeks and 4 days) till he is term and can come home.
Thursday 30th April
Saw Belinda today she is happy with my progress. I am not sleeping that well seems to have cold flushes all night and waking to express is hard going to take my temperature tonight to see if I have an infection coming.
Rang the midwife this morning Noah had had a large vomit over night and feeds had been stopped and put on a Baxter pump with 7ml per hour on constant slow feed. By the time I got there was on 9ml per hour and he was coping well. The pump should be on for a few days then a bolus feeds again. He had put on 20 grams = 1310grams that 2lb 8oz. I spent time today holding him I kept kissing his hands and saying “Kisses for Noah” and he would smile. I got it on video was worth a million dollars that he knows my voice. While he was in the crib and I was expressing I was talking to him and he would try and open his eyes to look at me and smile when I said his name. I didn’t think it was possible for a baby to smile so young but just seeing his facial expression change was so perfect. I felt like a huge bond was made between us.
I went in also to the SCBU and NICU support and education session. Was very informative and nice to meet other mums. Will go again next week too. Just means I need someone to pick up Rachel as is a late arvo for me but is well worth it.
Wednesday 28 April
Noah is doing really well today got a phone call from staff to say he was SCBU 3 waiting a bed in SCBU 2. he had had his O2 sats ceased, TPN ceased and only needing monitors for reps and heart rate. He looks wonderful without his leads everywhere. He had put on 30grams last night almost 1300grams. Got to have a huge cuddle today which he slept thru he seems so much more relaxed. Karen got to come in and have a cuddle too she was the first person besides Aaron and I. so noahs job now is to put on heaps of weight and in a few weeks learn to breastfed. I am so proud of my boy I feel such a sense of achievement that he has moved rooms. I guess only other premmie parents know how that feels.
Sunday 26th April
Noah's doing well today. Oxyflow now on 2L and on 4ml of milk every 2 hours. He is tolerating both really well. TPN has gone down 1ml and lipids on 0.4ml/ hour. He had a weight gain of 30grams last night. He was much settled today and looked so much calmer and his skin normal colour again. Geoff and Marion came in to meet him and brought some bibs and a CD. Aunty Dorothy came in too. Was nice to finally have someone from my family come in. she took some pictures and I hope they have emailed them to mum cause she hasn’t received the Hansen ones yet. I hope that isn’t cause of the letter I sent asking for them not to be put on face book. Kate and Todd came into they didn’t stay long. Rachel and Jacob came in with some presents they had bought with Michael and they also got some presents from Noah. Rachel got a Barbie and Jake got car. They loved him so much and talked to him for ages. Tonight I got cuddle him for a hour before they sent me back saying he had had a big day and needed to sleep. He is trialing no Oxyflow at 7am so will see him tomorrow. Photographer was organized by Kimberlee so will be in tomorrow.
Monday 27th April
I got to leave the hospital today so now discharged is hard to leave my baby there. Went to see Noah today he doing well. They stopped the Oxyflow at 7am and so far is doing really well. He has had his fat lipids ceased and milk increased to 10ml per 2 hours. They have called the LMHS to see if he can be moved in the next week. His TPN has gone down and looks so much happier without all the cords. The photographer came today and took some great pics the kids were there too so were waiting for some really good ones. I couldn’t hire a breast pump I tried to call everywhere but no one had one so I am trying to use my old mini medela which sounds like it is dying. Hopefully new one will be here soon. Will call NICU soon to see how Noah is going.
Tuesday 28th April
First day without my boy close by was very hard. Is Noah 1 week birthday and Aaron and I went in to the chat and social group for NICU babies and met other great mums going through the same as us. Was a good thing to do and made me feel so much more secure in my limbo land. We went and had a cuddle with Noah. His feeds now on 15ml per 2 hours. And TPN on 2ml/ hour. He had had a good night and put on 30 grams taking to 1260grams 2lb 7oz. he seems less grumpy today as well and loved his cuddle time. We spoke to the doctors about him staying in WCH and not going to LMHS and they seemed ok with that choice so hopefully he will stay there till he comes home. Expressing has been hard today milk seems to have dwindled off maybe it is just a bad day. Will call hospital later tonight for an update but usually when I call they say he is doing really well and asleep. Doctors also notified us today Noah maturity shows he was actually due the 18th June so makes his corrected age 32+5 which means hopefully will be home sooner. Had to contend with another baby today was so hard to have a term baby born after Noah in my arms. I just wanted my baby so bad. Made me feel really low tonight.
Wednesday 22nd April I woke this morning with a huge clot and membrane loss. Very sore uterus on the left side AGAIN. Did go see Noah and rang instead and he has done really well over night. Didn’t need any help at all and had had 1ml of colostrum and tolerated it. Discussion was he was doing so well he could leave NICU and go to SCU. I was so proud Cookie and Nan brought in Rachel and Jacob. Rachel loved seeing Noah and talked to him and touched him and was in ore. Jake was scared of all the noise and lights and was grumpy. Can see he is going to have issues with the chance. Nan and cookies were happy to see Noah and have a touch. This afternoon am feeling very very sore in the uterus. Saw doctor who doesn’t believe me there is something wrong and I am angry about that. Psych came and upped my meds so I can feel less scared and jittery. Don’t feel like anymore visitor so keeping quite this Avro. Am hoping to have a cuddle and get on the breast pump to get milk going. I called Katie who reassured me about my uterus and getting gyny from LMHS to review me. Aaron went in to ICU at midnight and spent 3 hours with Noah he got his first hold and do his cares. So now we have both had a cuddle and got to change his nappy, clean him up and check his obs. We also got to feed him.
Thursday 23/4/09-
James and Sarah gave birth to a beautiful baby girl today 6lb10oz by c section names Hannah Louise. We haven’t really heard much but I know she is much smaller than mum and dad had anticipated. This morning Noah was not quite right. I got a small cuddle and did his cares. The cuddle really got my milk going and I was able to express lots. I sat on my chest sucking at my skin felt so nice. He loves to suck and his dummy is well used. Is nice for me to know should mean he loves boobs too. This afternoon I had a sleep uterus is very sore still. We went down after dinner to see Noah. He had seen the doctor and was having troubles breathing. He was put in the machine to help the air get into his lungs. He also had cuts like blisters but more rash like on his lips and down his body. They presume it might be a reaction to the antibiotics so they have changed them. They have sent some bloods off to make sure it isn’t an infection or virus but we wont know the results till the morning. Was very disheartening to see my boy sick and very sad we couldn’t hold him and maybe wont be able to for a few days when he is well again. This weight has dropped since birth but were hoping tonight it will go up and his EBM feeds have gone up to 3ml/ 2hour which is good so means his TPN can go down. He has also started a high lipids (fat) solution IV so help him put on weight. I think he should have had a weight gain by now cause they are really pushing him. Has left me feeling very lonely and lost tonight. I have been expressing every 4 hours and my nipples are aching like anything is hard to be motivated when I have no baby with me.
Fri 24th April Think I have the 3rd day blues today. Went down to see Noah at 9 and wasn’t allowed in as ward rounds came back at 1030 and was informed he didn’t have a good night. Had to put up the pressure and oxygen. He also was found to be restless and flinching every couple of hours so is now on a muscle relaxant. His bilirubin is not decreasing as fast as they would like to due to have another light put on today. His snot is still green and he is very bubbly in the mouth so is having a chest x-ray today to see what is happening. I wasn’t allowed to hold him today. Not sure if it is just the same nurse who says no or if he really is too sick. In the back of my mind I want to be angry at her for saying no instead of being angry at the situation that he is too unwell. All discussions of movement to SCBU have stopped as he needs to be in NICU. I have been able to express about 50ml from each breast using the pump. I am finding it very hard seeing everyone else’s babies and not mine. I feel so guilty it is my fault. If I had been better behaved in pregnancy and done everything proper maybe I would have been healthier mentally and physically. Psych came in today discharge is Monday at the earliest. I expect a break down sooner than later. Breakdown hit was horrid
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Saturday 25th April Slept in today. Went down to NICU to see Noah. He had a good night with breathing and was taking off the machine. His weight had gone down 30grams again and is now 1.210kg they have upped him fat lipids and TPN as he had a vomit over night and had lots of bile in his stomach. His milk volume was dropped again from 6ml – 2ml per 2/hours. He had to fast fir 6 hours and then had a feed which did go down fine. He is off the lights now as bilirubin is down. With that he went really cold and needed heating up. He had on a little outfit (red and hearts) and was wearing his hat and had so many blankets on. I was not allowed to put my hands in was letting in cold air. That really made me feel so distant from him. But I understand he needs his time. After lunch Karen and Keeley came in to meet him. Keeley spent lots of time sitting with her hands stroking his arms. She was quite impressed with her brother. Karen got to have a touch too and spend some time with him. Were hoping to go down at 930 for some more time together and hopefully he is well enough to come out.
