11 Weeks

Have been sore from the pessary being inserted I ended up not working cause I am so sore sneeze makes my muscles burn. Is so nice thought to go to the toilet with out any issues but am still uncomfortable.

Spoke to Nan today she was making sure I was ok. She has lots of miscarriages and had a pessary ring put in with her twins and Karen. I think now she knows I have the same issue as her she is worried about me. She didn’t know anyone else who suffered from the uterus issues so I thought it was funny that 1% of the population experiences it and both Nan and I did. Nan had lots of miscarriages and her twins were born at 5 months and died at birth. She had a boy and girl and apparently the boy was a lot bigger than the girl. They blamed the miscarriages on her uterus being incarcerated. She carried Karen to full term but Leanne came at 7 months and was a very sick baby once again from her uterus not being able to support the bub. I think me having the pessary brought up some stuff her I know she never saw her babies who died but I know any mother would miss her babies especially if they died at birth and she never got any time with them.

I feel bad now I know why Nan has been a bit more short with me. I guess she sees how relaxed I am with what I do and lifting and all the other stuff I shouldn’t be doing while pregnant.

Since I am feeling pregnant now with my huge bump I am wishing the arvo sickness and fatigue would leave as I am getting mighty sick of being sick.

Pessary x5

The need to wee and poo was so tragic last night. My cervix had fallen dramatically and facing anterior which is totally the wrong way. My retroverted uterus was not going to flip. I had this in both other pregnancies and was very unusual only 1% of women uterus gets stuck. So yesterday I started spotting and cervix was so low. I couldn’t wee and I felt like I had to poo like nothing. Was the Billy Joel concert too which I had paid so much money for I couldn’t not go. Was a wonderful concert but left me in so much pain. My uterus is so sore pressing on my back and stopping me weeing.

So today I called the hospital and said I wanted to come in and see the gyny they said their was no appointment and I would have to go to women’s emergency. I asked to speak to them and they put my straight thru to the obs. She was horrid when I said my symptoms, what needs to be done and could I come in. she said it was so rare I was over reacting and come in but I would have wait to be seen as was non urgent. I was so angry I went back to bed and sulked. After an hour I decided I couldn’t risk the baby or my health and I would have to go in.

I went in and waited for the nurse to assess me I was so grumpy and they must have known as noone came near me. After a while they brought me a sandwich and said my notes had arrived and Professor Dekka had put in a huge screed if I was to present. They called the horrid ob straight away to come down and do what was instructed. After about 4 hours I was fitted with pessary 73mm OUCH!!

Instantly I could wee and the pressure went. Gus had left instructions that I didn’t have to stay for observation and I could handle manually maneuvering my uterus into place so no admission was necessary. He also put in the fact I was to be referred to him from here for scan and tests to prevent miscarriage or prem labour. The ob seemed unimpressed with his instructions and she couldn’t make her own judgment but as the consult went on she agreed anyway. The pessary went in and I stole the other one they had so I could show everyone the size of the dish inside my vagina. It is uncomfortable as it is pushing my uterus is a direction it really doesn’t want to go but I know the feeling eases off and by 20 weeks it gets taken out.

Doctor also signed my due date as 20th June 2009 so the dates are all over the place again.

excellent report on my uterus issues http://www.emedicine.com/Med/topic3473.htm

I also had another appointment and got to catch up for a bit with Tracey. Got a script from Belinda and had a general chat about life since my ex and how different it has been. Also discussed my break down the other weekend and strategies of communicating what I need to Aaron. Am finally feeling pregnant now got my pessary in which has relieved my pressure, inability to pee and poop and relieving my morning sickness.

Double Digits

Finally have hit the 2 digit mark. So only 30 weeks to go. That sounds like forever though, not that it should matter considering I am enjoying my sleeping time at the moment as I am still comfortable.

Not much has been going on. Got my scan booked for 12/12/08 hopefully Aaron can get time off work to come and see the bub with me if not looks like mother in law is coming for a sneak peak.

Things have been steady here the morning (afternoon) sickness is wearing thin I am just so over it not to forget the tiredness but Aaron has been great watching the kids so I can snooze. My stomach is sticking out heaps now compared to others I look very pregnant.

We went to toys r us today they have a great 50% off sale on so many things we want. I was so excited to find a bassinet for half price but they were sold out. But then I found a cradle for 50% off and that is still cheaper than the bassinet was full price so I will head back and get it this week. Also found a great change table that is a cupboard and drawers as well so I better look at finances for that but the more I think about it the more I think post xmas sales might be even better!

We have been discussing names lately and their seems to be a massive shortage in nice names. We can’t think of any girls one at all. I even looked in the baby book and we still couldn’t find just 1 we love. I am leaning towards Kayla or Kira… I KNOW!!! NOT BIBLICAL at all. But then we have 3 K Merritt’s in the house so not too sure. Aaron not so keen on more K’s but I seem to be very ‘K” focused this week.

I am pretty sure were having a boy anyway. I had the same feeling with the other 2 that I just kind of knew in my instincts. So for boys names it is easier as we both like Noah and it fits in well with the other kids names. I just don’t like the fact you cant shorten or cuten Noah… Noahy… Joey… will have to think about that one?

Middle name were still looking at but for a boy we like Charles. Charles was Aaron great grandfather and was a P.O.W his body was never found but every year Aaron marches for him the ANZAC day parade.

With the girl middle names I want to us one of Nan’s names not sure yet which one as she has 3 Maureen Bridget Helen and she gets called by all of them so I don’t even know the correct order. But Nan has been a huge influence on our lives and so this baby deserves to be named after such a wonderful woman

I know we have heaps of time but I always seem more settled when my baby has an identity. But for the time being it is called ‘bump’

Meeting Professor Gus

Decide after much arguing with myself to go and see Ob today as planned. Rach was sick last with the chucks so no one slept well and since she is a drama queen, everyone was woken up and she screamed for hours. Was a terrible night sleep for everyone! So she stayed home from school today and I sent Jake to child care so I could attend the ob appointment with some ease, or so I thought.

It took me 20minutes to drive to the hospital and all I could imagine was me being in labour and every bump in the road then took me 15minutes to find a park. I hate no parking facilities…. I had to drag Keeley to walk to the whole way I forget she is not like the other 2 were and eager to walk everywhere she wants me to carry her. So I dragged her crying too the day care facilities and was happy to have my break.

I sat and waited to see Professor Dekka for ages before he called me in. in that time I did also see Dr Belinda (psychiatrist) and Tracey (psych nurse) which were my mental health support team with jakes pregnancy. I am due to catch up with Tracey next week as Belinda is away till January.

Professor Dekka (let just call him Gus) Gus sat me down and read my notes stated I was there as high risk and why… blah blah blah.. then proceed to do a quick ultra sound which I was not expecting and didn’t drink my 500mls. We went into the next room. Gus could find an instant heart beat and we could see it even though the equipment was not very modern compared to the ones done for measuring and checking. He said unfortunately my uterus was not anterior like the last scan said It was in fact not flipping and we *may* have issues again. He seemed quite calm about it and said if in the next few weeks I get any issues to go to Women’s health emergency for assessment. As they are aware of it we can manage it a lot easier I got a great quote to show how rare it is and Gus made sure I was aware it is rare and serious but as I am aware of it we wont have any issues dealing with it when it arises .he said not worth lying on my belly as research doesn’t support it works but when this has happened 2x before I can try anything I like.

"Before the 14th week of gestation retroversion is encountered in approximately 11% of women. Usually, spontaneous correction of the uterus to the anterior position does occur between 12 and 16 weeks, but in 1.4% (1 in 70) of those cases this does not occur. The retroverted uterus subsequently becomes impacted in the pelvic cavity."

I presume at my next visit at 13 weeks another scan will be done. Here is hoping the uterus flips nice and early… like NOW… He also booked me into my NT scan for 3 weeks time and blood test as well. I will try and make these around Aaron so he can come if not will see if Karen can come. I said I wasn’t interested in the NT scan but he suggested is a good way to determine bladder and uterus position and to be safe with the extra lax muscles as pregnancy #3 might pick up signs early of possible complications. Other things we discuss were my medications which he was happy to continue with and monitor with Belinda and Tracey and my back pain which may be due to my uterus pushing its way into my spine. He gave me some more pain killers said to take time of work *he is kidding I hope* and rest up.

Also were not sure of dates yet so might be 8 weeks or 9 weeks.

So overall great appointment, my fears surrounding the same walls as Jake and making me feel insecure didn’t happen at all. I felt much supported and when I spoke to them about going to WCH they couldn’t understand why when I had a team already aware and able to deal with my issues why would I want to start that rapport again.

Aaron was disappointed he couldn’t come today I know he wants to be part but he also needs to work and I know I will be in and out for the next 7 months. I will give him some extra time tonight as I know he feels like he missed out again seeing the baby.

http://www.geocities.com/swolfert/incarcerated_uterus.htm

8 6/7

About Bub: According to the web sit our embryo is now called a fetus, which means "little one." Your uterus expands to accommodate its new resident, which now measures approximately 1.6 centimeters. The Uterus is the size of a tennis ball.

Funny the last 2 days I have started to have troubles weeing do you think the tennis ball has something to do with it??? Since I had the scan the lady said my uterus was anterior not posterior so I presumed that meant my issues of weeing were not going to bug us this time. Yet starting last night I sit down and have to wiggle to pee. Even then I have to sit for long time waiting for it to end or I need to come back soon to wee ago. Am suppose to see ob this week but I will cancel I can’t be bothered with the stupid hospital crap.

I have been super tired today but no afternoon sickness today. I am a bit worried because the HPT I did yesterday was not as dark as it usually is. But other symptoms are normal pregnancy ones. I think I am just worrying and bored. SO I have been trying to keep busy by shopping but because it is still so early I don’t want buy too much, just incase. We bought a baby bath so we can fill it with stuff we have bought. I seem to have only grabbed clothes. I have been looking for cheap furniture I found a stunning Jarrah Breastfeeding chair I am 100% sure I will be out bided is way to cheap and nice for someone to leave. Things I am reluctant to buy second hand are:

• Bassinet, mattress because of SIDS issues but still looking as are expensive and we will use for such a short time.
• Breast pump I know it can be sterilized but still hygiene reasons
• I would rather my own. Maybe the rocker/ swing just so we know it are safe and clean.

Most other stuff can be second hand as this will last baby don’t need all new stuff. Looking at the list we made were still no close to achieving everything we need. Lucky we have enough time.

8 Week Belly

8 Weeks & 5 Days

Well coming onto week 9…. I can defiantly say I am feeling more pregnant than any other week the afternoon sickness has hit hard and the cravings have too. I am so tired at night and my stomach is so bloated. It is exciting now were coming to the end of the first trimester only 3 and half weeks to go.

We have decided to continue care with Lyell McEwen hospital and with the specialists we have had before. The doula Jane is happy to meet in December to see if we click and appointments are coming faster now with ob and psych in the next few weeks.

My nesting is paying off and house looks much better. I have been searching eBay for cheap items as well. Main pain in the butt at the moment is the fact of work. The agency doesn’t seem to give me shifts. I wrote a letter of complaint and they rang today to assure me they are doing the best they can so I guess I am going to have to look for more agency work as my appointments seem to fall on regular shifts.

Aarons works is going well he seems to be enjoying it and it is good to see him excited about his application for the diploma for next year. Jake is happy as usual is now almost fully toilet trained just in nappies at night. Rachel has had today off school for pupil free day which is a major pain as I am suppose to work next week she will have to come with me or I will need someone to watch her. Can’t keep missing work. Keeley has tonsillitis at the moment as we get her tomorrow hopefully she is feeling ok.

Only 31 weeks and 2 days to go!!!

42 days till Christmas

Xmas is coming, only 42 sleeps till the big day. This year is an even year so it means that the children all spend with there other parent. I can’t wait till next year when we have all the kids with us including the new baby. And the year after NOONE can take away our baby for Xmas will be wonderful to have our own small family celebration when the baby is 18months old. Mummy Merritt, Daddy Merritt and Baby Merritt.

So I went on a shopping spree and got some presents. Was hard as the mega toy sale was today on both Target and Kmart. Kmart had sold out of heaps of toys I couldn’t get Rachel’s there or any boy’s toys. Was surprising I thought there would be heaps of stuff. Target was a mad house but luckily I didn’t have wait to long in line to pay. After a heap of money and a serving of sushi I came home. I had planned to do some grocery shopping too but I was so exhausted I couldn’t be bothered.

Considering this year the kids are not with us they will get 1 present from us before they leave then when they get back father Xmas would have been and left some more presents for them from him. Considering Rachel is now working out he only makes 1 trip a year the idea he comes twice isn’t working. That’s ok we will do the stuff as need be. Will give Aaron and I some time to work and earn some money too.

So this year I am officially more organized than any other year. Am thinking of doing one of thous ‘this year’ letters to everyone letting them know all the gossip especially as a new baby will be the news by then. Not everyone is aware were expecting, but by Xmas I will be 14 weeks so well on my way and can let everyone know.

Weird Cravings

Weird cravings

Every night I feel sick, get the morning sickness in the afternoon, no idea why just do. This is also when my weird cravings come in.

• One is pita bread, I love pita bread but I am finding there is only so many ways to have pita bread before I get bored.
• The next is salt and avocado… no sure if that’s a good one but salt on avocado I have eaten for every meal. Of course with pepper as well.
• RockMelon with Proscitto (once again salty)
• Next is sea food, isn’t that the #1 thing not to eat while pregnanct? Probably yes, but I just need the saltiness and strong flavor. So I have had lots of smoked muscles as they are cheap and I presume safe as in a can. Might need to Google that though…

Smoked foods can contain nitrates that may affect your blood’s ability to carry oxygen. These include smoked fish, smoked cheese, smoked meats, pickled foods and sausage

Hmm wonder if smoked wish includes muscles?? Then I found this:

raw seafood (e.g. oysters, sashimi, and sushi), uncooked smoked fish (e.g. smoked salmon) and smoked shellfish (e.g. smoked oysters – canned are safe).

So maybe they are ok? I might need to eat it a lot less then every night though. But seemly I am not doing anything else properly so I hope the canned muscles are the least of my problems. I think I need to start monitoring my coffee intake, sugar intake, exercise and medications.

I guess in the end it is the baby who wants the food… can I blame everything on that? cause I am really feeling like some rock melon right about now!

Rachel knows our secret

Rachel spoke to mum the other day and told her we were having a baby because baby’s come when you get married. So I sat down with Rachel and explained that we were having a baby. It was a secret till we see an picture of it to make sure it is ok. She asked if the baby liked home made pizza because that’s what I eat every night. She also wanted to know how big the baby was. She keeps saying it is a boy and we will call him Chloe. She seems to understand what is happening she asks lots of questions at any given time but knows it s secret… other 2 kids have no is going on as expected from there age. By the time the baby is born Rachel will be 6yo and 1mth Jake will be 3yo and 8 mth Keeley will be 2yo and 9 mth

Letter to self centered people in the world...

DEAR EVERYONE!!!!

DO YOU NEED ASK AGAIN????

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WHY DO YOU WANT

ANOTHER ONE???"

THANKS...

BECAUSE

GRR... TODAY I WAS INUNDATED BY PEOPLE OFFENDING US!!! dont people get it

YES we do know the baby got there!

Yes we are aware there will be 4!

Yes we are happy!

Yes we can cope with another one!

YEs we know your not happy or agree about it or you wouldnt be going on and on about the issues.

YES WE DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR OPINIONS

Leave us alone... you rude, insensitive people!!!

Jacobs Birth Story (snap shot)

Jacob was a planned pregnancy and took about 5 months to conceive. Once again with I started bleeding in first trimester and I got another scan to show his stunning heart beating away. I was so lucky to be part of the Northern Women's Midwifery unit and to see my own midwife who worked with the LMHS so I could have my continuity and care as needed. Her name is Patrice and she was the best thing with my birth and labour.

At 12 weeks a pessary was put into again due to trouble urination. I was admitted into hospital for 5 days for urination issues. Was seen my psychiatrist throughout whole pregnancy due to antennal depression and psychosis and the need for medications. I was admitted to maternity ward many times during this pregnancy due to mental health and need to rest.

I was induced at 37 weeks for need of more medications for mental health. Birth was horrid. Needed syntocin, gels, waters broken, epidural and then baby had low heart rate and I was threatened with a c/section. I hemorrhaged after birth also. Was very scary and horrid experience for both Jake and I. Yet Patrice made it perfect she advocated for me and the baby. Gave me confidence and trust in my body and the baby, she made sure that Jake was not taken away and I was given proper while still able to have bonding with my baby.

I did also get long admission Due to mental health observation and Jake breathing was no quite right. I was admitted to Helen Mayo for 1 week respite. Mental illness was a lot less that with daughter. I breast fed for 24 months

Rachel Birth Story (snap shot)

Rachel’s was conceived just after my ex and I got married in 2002. I was told I was infertile due to issues with my pituitary gland yet I got a nice positive pregnancy test after my period was late.

After knowing for 3 weeks I started to bleed. I contacted my GP who said it was in my best interest to have an immediate ultra sound to see if baby was ok. My mother in law and sister in law met me at the hospital and we waited to see the baby. My ex arrived just as we were called in and we were delighted to see a tiny heart beating at us.

I was due to deliver my baby at Mt Barker hospital and have shared care with my GP. When I hit 14 weeks and could not urinate after much pain I was catheterized at Mt Barker hospital to relieve the pressure and discomfort. At this time the Mt barker midwifes referred me to a private ob at Calvary because I was too complicated for them. I didn't have private health so we saw Dr Julie Grant to help with my incarcerated uterus (where the uterus was retroverted and gets stuck in the pelvis at it grows) a pessary was put in to help the urination and stop any pressure bleeding. Manipulation was also done by the midwifes and to push my uterus out the pelvis and the right way.

At 24 weeks the pessary was removed and urination was a lot easier. At this time we decided to go to women and children’s hospital for public care and high risk care.

At 35 weeks I lost my mucous plug and started to contract. I was admitted to WCH and labour stopped with rest I managed to wait till 40 weeks to have her. Labour was short and at home I delivered at WCH within 30 minutes of arriving and left the next morning.

Laboring consisted on sitting on the toilet by myself in pain and wondering why the hospital had said early I wasn’t in labour. After a while I decided to go to hospital and hey refused my entry as I didn’t appear to be in enough pain to be in labour. Once we were taken to the delivery suit and an internal was done the baby was so close to being born. I asked for an epidural and the anesthetists came down and did hypnotherapy in stead as I was already pushing. Rachel was born in the afternoon with no pain relief besides gas and hypnotherapy. She was born with my mum, dad, husband and sister I law with me. I had no tearing or damage.

I was soon after labour readmitted for D&C for retained products and then to Helen Mayo House for 5 weeks for PND. My Depression was never noticed due to changing doctors constantly and I think so much fear of not knowing what was happening. I breast fed her for 12 months.

Our Options

Midwifery care models: Birthing or birth centers are separate from regular hospital care, but located close by the labour wards within the hospital. In a birth centre, midwives usually care for you during your pregnancy, the birth and after the birth. Often the same midwife or midwife team supports you through your pregnancy and birth.

Shared care:

Shared care generally takes place between a hospital-based medical or midwife team and a doctor (general practitioner).

'Traditional' hospital based care:. Antenatal management takes place in the hospital setting generally in a dedicated outpatient clinic area. You may not see the same doctor or midwife through you pregnancy and those caring for you during the antenatal period may not be involved with either your birth or postnatal period.

Private care options If you have private health insurance, then you can choose your own care giver—such as an obstetrician, doctor (general practitioner) or independent midwife—and choose a private hospital or a public hospital for the birth.

Homebirth options paying for an independent midwife to care your pregnancy and birth at home.

In SA when you find out your pregnant and don’t choose private health you call a number and are referred to the local hospital for your care. The hospitals in the northern areas are zoned and when I called I was placed at Modbury although they don’t do birthing there they do the prenatal care and you have choice for birthing. The problem is the Modbury is run by the lyell McEwin so they get most women to go there.

MY OPTIONS AND CHOICES

Midwifery care models: due to the options given with the zoning I am not able to attend a midwifery clinic or birthing centre. Vey disappointing as would be great for me and my need for continuity.

Shared care: Due to being high care and wanting some support this is not an option. 'Traditional' hospital based care: Only cares being offered to me. A negative has no continuity and it very impersonal. Not good for me with the mental health issues.

Private care options: Don’t have private health cover.

Homebirth options: This is #1 option I want to do. I am going to contact a midwife to see if because I am high risk if I would be covered by insurance. See if due to compilations with Jake if I would be a good candidate.

I will explain my other birth soon so you can see my dealing with both choices of hospitals. I birthed Rachel at WCH and Jake at LMHS.

So far in my dealings with these hospitals they both have there benefits and negatives. Overall my issues are I am already high risk and was both times before because of this I don’t get to continue care at Modbury.

I have decided thought to contact a midwife to ask our questions. But we also have made contact with a doula though as I am pretty sure the midwife wont accept me and my conditions.

I have met a doula Jane which we will use to help Aaron and I have some continuity and support with our journey. She will help with pain relief and she has a huge interest in mental health and hypnosis so perfect for me (she is also an RN). She is very supportive and offers pre birth support as well and pre birth training and discussions on our wishes. She understands my conditions and my needs. I know from my last 2 births I am very dependent as I feel scared and in pain. With Rachel I laboured at home and found it so much easier but once I entered the hospital all I wanted was an epidural. I was scared and concerned, is a horrid feeling not to trust your body or anyone in the room. I with Jake had my own midwife who I trusted and I learnt on even though I was induced I know if I hadn’t have been we wouldn’t have the issues which arise. I trusted her judgment and knowledge especially when in pain. As I cannot have my own midwife like I did with Jake and her support I will employ someone to be my and Aarons guide.

Aaron has agreed and likes the idea of the doula to direct him how to help he knows I don’t want epidural again so he wants to know how to be part of the process as I know when I am in labour I wont want to or be able to explain it. His daughers birth he didnt have an ative part in so this time he wants an active part. including catching the bub.... So the idea of a doula means we birth together. We entered this together out of love we finish it together and with love. As Aarons says

‘were a team we go on the field together and we leave the field together”

So for now I will keep going to LMHS for my appointments till I can speak to a middie. If I can home birth I will choose that options has to be financially feasible and also ok for me and bub being high risk and with my mental health. If not I will birth at ‘where ever’ with Aaron and Jane and do most of it at home…

Janes Brochure - http://www.scribd.com/doc/7623321/Brochure.

Loo??

So can someone tell me how on earth I got through today with my sore back and sore urethra?

I was so busy today at work I forgot to pee. Sounds weird but I was just so busy at work. I don’t have breaks to drink and I dont get to go to the toilet. By the time I got home weeing is so painful my urethra hurt from holding on it being so concentrate. Next week when I work am writing on my hand to go to the loo But my back was a lot better than expected as I took my meds to make sure I could work thru the day. Everyone was so supportive of my day off Tuesday for my scan and understood totally. I almost feel asleep at about 10am. Must have been my snooze time the last few days.

I do love nursing although it can be tiring and exhausting but it is also rewarding. I work in a dementia unit where I have 52 residents 8 staff, 1 DT, 2 cleaners and 2 kitchen staff all on my ward. Is lots of paper work but I get paid to be the pen pusher so doesn’t bother me. Got new symptoms for everyone to know about: itching…. I know weird I am not sure why and I guess it could be due to the Tramadol or Panadine but my whole body itches. My legs are especially bad and my stomach. I used the bounty bag cream for stretch marks as it is so bad but that made it worse. Must look that up as an early symptom Nausea still not an issue but I have noticed that the pregnancy vitamins given to us at the hospital make me so ill even with food. The Swiss Pregcel is a once only tablet per day but leaves you feeling so horrid. I bought a huge pack of the Blackmore Pregnancy vitamins is 2 tablets a day but doesn’t make as ill. Need to have it food though or makes you have bad stomach cramps Fatigue still there- still tired and still LOVE sleep Urination frequency is normal but needing to concentrate on weeing fully. Boobs still sore but not as bad- they are just huge Stomach getting bigger... I know I said bloatedness in the last but now I can see my stomach sticking out even more than usual and still no weight gain. Worrying… baby #3 is coming out quickly Bloatedness is tragic I look 7 months pregnant not 7 weeks.

ARGGGGGG......

As usual something has to go wrong with the computer. So now blogger have lost my sign in account to my other blog so I have to start again so for last 7 weeks the old blog is able to be found here http://teammerritt.blogspot.com/

HOW ANNOYING