2 Weeks Old

Tuesday 5 May 2009 Noah has lost 10grams -1390grams. Over night and had huge vomits again. I spoke to paed and he is happy with Noah but needs him to put on weight so now the EBM is going to be thickened to help it stay down. He is still on 10ml per hour and so far with the 2 feeds I did, going well. I spoke to paed about his high temp and explained Aarons situation as a baby and how it was always high and paed noted it down saying it is probably the same issues with just an over active thermostat. He is using lots of energy to keep a high temp but also shows he will manage ok out side an incubator. He is also doing huge poos which is good for his bowel but is not getting enough milk for weight gain but his organs are working well. I got a big cuddle today and got to give him his feeds and change his nappy. I really believe he knows my voice and smell now. JUST WISH HE WOULD PUT ON WEIGHT! I continue to be confused by his EDD. Today was 31+3 +15days = 33+4- it annoys me because it means he is slower than he should be EDD: June 19th

I went to the coffee morning today was nice to chat to the other mums and support each other I feel less alone in this journey the more I meet. I have had a low tolerance to everyone lately I bit of Rachel teachers head after I miss read a document and I snapped at the midwife today stating I wanted to see the doctor NOW. I went and had a whinge at the support group that I was so emotionally and physically tired I didn’t know how I was putting one foot in front of the other. Everyone seemed to agree that they had or did still feel that way.

COUNT DOWN ESTIMATE

60 grams to go till birth weight is hit

410 grams till 1.8 kilo and he can go into a cot

54 days (7 weeks and 5 days) till he is term and can come home

32weeks + 2 days corrected by 28/6/09

Day 12- 1395grams Not good weight gain

Monday 4th may Noah only put on 10grams last night which is not enough. He had lots of vomits and has a constant high temperature. Although his bloods came back good I hope he is just like his dad and is hot boy at birth. I got a nice cuddle today while he was feeding. He is back on hourly feeds of 10ml and coping ok -1395grams. The nurse was saying they wont push him so much for a few days before looking into it. She said he was 31+3 at birth and 13 days old now so 33 weeks which according to all the book he should be past birth weight by now. How can this kid not be a booby baby with me as a mum? I guess on the bright side he has excellent lungs and body temperature. Just need to get him to grow so we can hurry and get home. Didn’t take any photos today just too exhausted to get the camera out.

I am feeling so tired all the time now. The house is mess and I don’t have the energy to clean it. I am so tired I just cant think straight. I wish he would get better and settle down into a good rhythm so we can get started on coming home.

COUNT DOWN ESTIMATE

55 grams to go till birth weight is hit

405 grams till 1.8 kilo and he can go into a cot (23 days)

37 days (5weeks and 2 days) till he is able to learn to feed.

58 days (8 weeks and 2 days) till he is term and can come home

Day 12- 1385grams

Sunday 3rd may We went in today without the kids. Went into the hospital and Noah had done a huge smelly poo. We were able to do his toe and tail and Aaron changed the whole bed. He kept pooing so needed 2 outfits. He was so cute and let me do so much changing. He had a good night and put on 35grams last night- 1385grams. His feeds were changed to sliding scale to end up being 0500 tomorrow as 20ml per 2 hours. I will call later and see how is coping with the increase per alternate hours. Nan and Karen came in today. Nan had a good cuddle. I cant believe when Lee-Anne (30weeks) was born she wasn’t allowed to be touched for 6 weeks. I think she appreciated holding Noah.

COUNT DOWN ESTIMATE

100grams to go till birth weight is hit (5 days)

450 grams till 1.8 kilo and he can go into a cot (23 days)

38 days (5weeks and 3 days) till he is able to learn to feed.

59 days (8 weeks and 3 days) till he is term and can come home.

Day 11- Noah Cuddles His Brother and Sisters

Saturday 2nd May

Rachel with Noah

Mum and Noah

Keeley and Noah Jake and Noah Our Family

Saturday 2nd May

We brought the kids in today to meet Noah and have a cuddle. Jake seemed to not like the experience at all. Rachel enjoyed it and so did Keeley. They were way too noisy though and needed to be taken out. We got some great photos. Noah was taken off the Baxter pump over night. He is now on 10ml hourly by bolus. He seemed ok till, after he had his feed then he had a massive vomit. He needed suctioning and changing. My poor boy! Is such a roller coaster ride I wish he would just get better so he can grow.

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Has really hit now that my baby is not with me. I guess the numb feeling has gone and realization has in. It hit hard last night I really blame myself for the early coming. I also feel like I don’t have a baby, like Noah is the nurses and I will never have him close for more than a hour. I spoke to Nan today about this journey she agrees it is hard but it does end and stay strong. Wish it was that easy…

Noah Day 11

COUNT DOWN ESTIMATE

100grams to go till birth weight is hit (5 days)

450 grams till 1.8 kilo and he can go into a cot (23 days)

38 days (5weeks and 3 days) till he is able to learn to feed.

59 days (8 weeks and 3 days) till he is term and can come home.

Day 10- No changes

Friday 1st may I went in early this morning as I had to drop off Rachel. Didn’t sleep well I ended up not expressing during the night which is really bad but I needed the sleep so badly. Noah had had a good night and put on 20grams again now 1330 (2lb 9oz) pump was put up to 10ml// hour this morning which he is tolerating well. The nurse went through the hand over sheet today. I don’t think they know I am nurse but was interesting anyway. His blood test came back his sodium levels were low so he is on BD NaCl a drop from TDS yesterday. I got to also do a ‘top to tail’ which seems to be SCBU terms for cares. I got to change his outfit to a blue wonder suit he looks so cute in blue. Was very fiddly as he is so small and I am scared of breaking him. We had a long cuddle after then Ma arrived and had a cuddle while I went to the toilet. I put him back after and expressed a good 300mls. It really hit me today that were only on day 10 and we have ages to go. The SCBU nurse had put his EDD back to what it was so now being 31+3 makes it feel even longer to coming home. It hurt today to leave I really feel like I am a sitting duck. He only puts on 20grams a day (if that) I can see the journey is going to go forever. It is day 10 and I am sick of that I want him to be awake and feed properly. I want him to be able to hold his own body temperature. I don’t want to wait, the wait is so undetermined. I feel so tired of worrying and thining about Noah in there. I feel tired from driving in and sitting with him. I am exhausted emotionally that I don’t have my baby with me. I know this is a normal feeling but is horrid today. Maybe is also Aaron not being at home all the time and knowing we have 3 kids tomorrow to contend with when I want to see and spend time with my baby. No mum should ever be away from her baby is torture.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- COUNT DOWN ESTIMATE

120grams to go till birth weight is hit 470 grams till 1.8 kilo and he can go into a cot 39 days (5weeks and 4 days) till he is able to learn to feed. 60 days (8 weeks and 4 days) till he is term and can come home.