Day 5- 1 Week Old

Sunday 26th April Noah's doing well today. Oxyflow now on 2L and on 4ml of milk every 2 hours. He is tolerating both really well. TPN has gone down 1ml and lipids on 0.4ml/ hour. He had a weight gain of 30grams last night. He was much settled today and looked so much calmer and his skin normal colour again. Geoff and Marion came in to meet him and brought some bibs and a CD. Aunty Dorothy came in too. Was nice to finally have someone from my family come in. she took some pictures and I hope they have emailed them to mum cause she hasn’t received the Hansen ones yet. I hope that isn’t cause of the letter I sent asking for them not to be put on face book. Kate and Todd came into they didn’t stay long. Rachel and Jacob came in with some presents they had bought with Michael and they also got some presents from Noah. Rachel got a Barbie and Jake got car. They loved him so much and talked to him for ages. Tonight I got cuddle him for a hour before they sent me back saying he had had a big day and needed to sleep. He is trialing no Oxyflow at 7am so will see him tomorrow. Photographer was organized by Kimberlee so will be in tomorrow.

Monday 27th April I got to leave the hospital today so now discharged is hard to leave my baby there. Went to see Noah today he doing well. They stopped the Oxyflow at 7am and so far is doing really well. He has had his fat lipids ceased and milk increased to 10ml per 2 hours. They have called the LMHS to see if he can be moved in the next week. His TPN has gone down and looks so much happier without all the cords. The photographer came today and took some great pics the kids were there too so were waiting for some really good ones. I couldn’t hire a breast pump I tried to call everywhere but no one had one so I am trying to use my old mini medela which sounds like it is dying. Hopefully new one will be here soon. Will call NICU soon to see how Noah is going.

Tuesday 28th April First day without my boy close by was very hard. Is Noah 1 week birthday and Aaron and I went in to the chat and social group for NICU babies and met other great mums going through the same as us. Was a good thing to do and made me feel so much more secure in my limbo land. We went and had a cuddle with Noah. His feeds now on 15ml per 2 hours. And TPN on 2ml/ hour. He had had a good night and put on 30 grams taking to 1260grams 2lb 7oz. he seems less grumpy today as well and loved his cuddle time. We spoke to the doctors about him staying in WCH and not going to LMHS and they seemed ok with that choice so hopefully he will stay there till he comes home. Expressing has been hard today milk seems to have dwindled off maybe it is just a bad day. Will call hospital later tonight for an update but usually when I call they say he is doing really well and asleep. Doctors also notified us today Noah maturity shows he was actually due the 18th June so makes his corrected age 32+5 which means hopefully will be home sooner. Had to contend with another baby today was so hard to have a term baby born after Noah in my arms. I just wanted my baby so bad. Made me feel really low tonight.

Day 1 to Day 4

Wednesday 22nd April I woke this morning with a huge clot and membrane loss. Very sore uterus on the left side AGAIN. Did go see Noah and rang instead and he has done really well over night. Didn’t need any help at all and had had 1ml of colostrum and tolerated it. Discussion was he was doing so well he could leave NICU and go to SCU. I was so proud Cookie and Nan brought in Rachel and Jacob. Rachel loved seeing Noah and talked to him and touched him and was in ore. Jake was scared of all the noise and lights and was grumpy. Can see he is going to have issues with the chance. Nan and cookies were happy to see Noah and have a touch. This afternoon am feeling very very sore in the uterus. Saw doctor who doesn’t believe me there is something wrong and I am angry about that. Psych came and upped my meds so I can feel less scared and jittery. Don’t feel like anymore visitor so keeping quite this Avro. Am hoping to have a cuddle and get on the breast pump to get milk going. I called Katie who reassured me about my uterus and getting gyny from LMHS to review me. Aaron went in to ICU at midnight and spent 3 hours with Noah he got his first hold and do his cares. So now we have both had a cuddle and got to change his nappy, clean him up and check his obs. We also got to feed him.

Thursday 23/4/09-

James and Sarah gave birth to a beautiful baby girl today 6lb10oz by c section names Hannah Louise. We haven’t really heard much but I know she is much smaller than mum and dad had anticipated. This morning Noah was not quite right. I got a small cuddle and did his cares. The cuddle really got my milk going and I was able to express lots. I sat on my chest sucking at my skin felt so nice. He loves to suck and his dummy is well used. Is nice for me to know should mean he loves boobs too. This afternoon I had a sleep uterus is very sore still. We went down after dinner to see Noah. He had seen the doctor and was having troubles breathing. He was put in the machine to help the air get into his lungs. He also had cuts like blisters but more rash like on his lips and down his body. They presume it might be a reaction to the antibiotics so they have changed them. They have sent some bloods off to make sure it isn’t an infection or virus but we wont know the results till the morning. Was very disheartening to see my boy sick and very sad we couldn’t hold him and maybe wont be able to for a few days when he is well again. This weight has dropped since birth but were hoping tonight it will go up and his EBM feeds have gone up to 3ml/ 2hour which is good so means his TPN can go down. He has also started a high lipids (fat) solution IV so help him put on weight. I think he should have had a weight gain by now cause they are really pushing him. Has left me feeling very lonely and lost tonight. I have been expressing every 4 hours and my nipples are aching like anything is hard to be motivated when I have no baby with me.

Fri 24th April Think I have the 3rd day blues today. Went down to see Noah at 9 and wasn’t allowed in as ward rounds came back at 1030 and was informed he didn’t have a good night. Had to put up the pressure and oxygen. He also was found to be restless and flinching every couple of hours so is now on a muscle relaxant. His bilirubin is not decreasing as fast as they would like to due to have another light put on today. His snot is still green and he is very bubbly in the mouth so is having a chest x-ray today to see what is happening. I wasn’t allowed to hold him today. Not sure if it is just the same nurse who says no or if he really is too sick. In the back of my mind I want to be angry at her for saying no instead of being angry at the situation that he is too unwell. All discussions of movement to SCBU have stopped as he needs to be in NICU. I have been able to express about 50ml from each breast using the pump. I am finding it very hard seeing everyone else’s babies and not mine. I feel so guilty it is my fault. If I had been better behaved in pregnancy and done everything proper maybe I would have been healthier mentally and physically. Psych came in today discharge is Monday at the earliest. I expect a break down sooner than later. Breakdown hit was horrid

Saturday 25th April Slept in today. Went down to NICU to see Noah. He had a good night with breathing and was taking off the machine. His weight had gone down 30grams again and is now 1.210kg they have upped him fat lipids and TPN as he had a vomit over night and had lots of bile in his stomach. His milk volume was dropped again from 6ml – 2ml per 2/hours. He had to fast fir 6 hours and then had a feed which did go down fine. He is off the lights now as bilirubin is down. With that he went really cold and needed heating up. He had on a little outfit (red and hearts) and was wearing his hat and had so many blankets on. I was not allowed to put my hands in was letting in cold air. That really made me feel so distant from him. But I understand he needs his time. After lunch Karen and Keeley came in to meet him. Keeley spent lots of time sitting with her hands stroking his arms. She was quite impressed with her brother. Karen got to have a touch too and spend some time with him. Were hoping to go down at 930 for some more time together and hopefully he is well enough to come out.

Noah is born

Monday 20th April Woke at 5am with another large bleed. CTG showed baby was happy and I was contracting every 5 minutes. Was told to lie down till the eased off. Monitor was taken off and I was able to have a sleep. Monday Avro contractions were more solid still not showing much on CTG but were regular and painful. At 11pm the midwife suggested we go to sleep but I said no I was in too much pain and if I was in labor I wanted to be alert. She offered pethadine so I could sleep I refused and also refused my normal meds.

Tuesday 21st April At midnight I cried to Aaron saying I wanted to go home. I thought I was in labor but if I wasn’t then I was going home as I couldn’t bear to be in there anymore where I was treated like a psych patient and not listened too and just offered drugs all the time. The midwife came in and insisted I go to sleep. I asked to speak to the doctor about going home and I would be happy to sign a waver form as I had had enough! At 3am I went to the toilet AGAIN with pressure. I felt inside and could feel my waters bulging out my cervix so I knew something was happening. As I tried to do a poo my fore waters burst and fluid went everywhere. Instantly the pressure was gone and the pain eased off. I called the midwife and stated what happened. She asked me to lie back down and put the CTG back on. She was not sure if I had broken my waters so I asked her to look and I pushed fluid went all over the bed and didn’t stop. The midwife kept the monitor on and called the doctor. The CTG showed the baby was very happy and I was contracting every 7 minutes. The pain was bad and really low in my back. The midwife gave me some gas 50/50 and asked me to chew the plastic and focus on the breathing during each contraction. I got Aaron to rub my back hard during each contraction. He was my lifeline in being so uncomfortable he made me so much better. The doctor came in and did a speculum and said she could see my cervix and it was closed but lots of fluid still coming out. Which I could feel as the bed was soaked. I asked Dr Kathy to please do an internal as I know my cervix is not normal and might be more open than she could see. She agreed and found I was 4-5cm dilated and baby head was pushing right against it. She thanked me for explaining my issue and stated baby would be here really soon. The midwife organized a pediatrician to come to the birth. Aaron rang Jane our student and told her it was time. I called Heidi to come as I needed to go to the toilet she said it was the baby head and I wasn’t allowed to go as too much risk of him being born in the loo I asked for pan and did a huge wee. She was shocked I really did need to go. The contractions kept at 7 minutes apart and very painful in the lower pelvis and back. I couldn’t get comfortable and Aaron rubbing was the only thing that helped. I used the gas mouth piece to regulate my breathing and focused on breathing the baby down and things I had read in hypno birthing. Between contractions I could talk and joke and reposition (as best as possible with the monitor on) during a contraction I could feel the head move down into my pelvis I called Heidi (midwife) to come now as I could feel the pressure she came over and had a look as I felt my body pushing down. I yelled out he was coming and I was sorry it wouldn’t stop. I relaxed into the pressure and his head came out. I could hear a little squeak from him. Heidi was trying to hold back the head and telling Jane to ring the bell NOW. Another midwife came in straight away then rang out to get the pediatrician in. I just relaxed and the baby slid out before anyone was there.

Noah was born at 4:00am on 21/ 4/ 09. Heidi lifted him up so we could see him and he peed all over me. Then the paed arrived and took him over to the resuss table to get him breathing. Heidi took some bloods from the cord and within seconds I could feel the placenta coming out. Heidi was not ready and it popped out onto the bed. Aaron and I were able to watch them work on Noah they were giving him oxygen and wrapping him up in layers and layers of warm blankets. I heard another squeak which made me feel so good he had air in his lungs. The paed let me hold him for 2 minutes with the mask on his face to help him breath. After 2 min they took him down to NICU. Aaron decided to stay with me and we cuddled. I had a shower with Aarons help then went down to the NICU to see him. He was in an incubator with CPAP helping him breath. He didn’t need any O2 and was breathing air quite comfortably. They had put in a jelco for some antibiotics. We were allowed to put our hands on him and ask heaps and heaps of questions. After an hour we head back to our new room in post natal. I had a break down and felt really really sad and scared. I was given my meds and had a sleep and woke much better. In the afternoon Noah was doing really well. He was taken off the CPAP and didn’t need any other help at all with breathing. A Naso gastric tube was put in and he was having a small amount of TPN and glucose to help him get strong. He was doing so well the staff were over the moon at how strong he was for 30 weeker. We had no visitors as we were so tired and slept lots during the day

THERE IS A BABY COMING

Friday 17th Woke up at 3am with contractions and a big bleed. Rang midwife at 8am to let her know who said to come into hospital for a check up. On arrival they did a CTG to find I was contracting 3 minutes apart and relatively strong. After an hour they did an internal to find that I was dilating and my cervix was ripe. I was 2cm dilated and baby was fully engaged. Instantly they put in a jelco and put in anti biotic and gave me oral meds to stop the contractions. I was transferred to labor ward where I was administered steroids incase the baby came to help his lungs. Within 30 minutes I was transferred by ambulance to WCH in the city. There I was put into women’s assessment where they did another internal and stated my waters had not broken. I was then labor ward and give meds 3 hourly to stop the contractions.

Saturday 18th April Contractions had mainly stopped and discussion was I could go home however a blood test had shown I had infection somewhere in my body. Another jelcco was put in and I was put on 4 hourly antibiotics and transferred down the antennal for the night. I was given another dose of steroids to finalize the course just in case. In the morning I had a large bleed and was instantly put back on CTG which showed the baby was in distress and contractions were coming slowly. I was transferred back to labor ward for monitoring. Another speculum was done and still waters were intact. I was continued on 3 hourly meds to stop the contractions and the ABS. The pediatrician came up and discussed the process of prem labour and what happens in NICU if he was to be born.

Saturday 18th April Blood test came back that the infection was stable still no idea where it was and the risk it was in my uterus. Contractions were irregular and not making me dilates. Discussion was I would be transferred back to antenatal for 2 days for monitoring to go home. That afternoon my waters broke and another speculum exam showed I was leaking but not dilating. We were given a tour of the NICU and monitored on CTG as baby was no longer in distress. All meds to stop my contracting were stopped and we were explained that from here it could either fizzle out and I could go home in 2 days with monitoring at LMHS or I would deliver. 85% chance of delivery in the 48 hours post waters breaking.

Pregnancy summary- 30 weeks+1

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